Looking for direction in life!


I am very much disturbed with what’s happening in my life. Kindly help me out. I come from a broken family and never had a peaceful life. Always found happiness outside the house. Many unpleasant things happened in my life through which I lost the desire to marry. But there was pressure to get married. Finally I agreed to marry a person of my choice. I spoke to that person before the marriage that it was due to pressure that I was marrying him. He still accepted me. But after marriage we started having conflicts.

He left as he got a job abroad and did not turn up for 2 and half years. During these days of separation, we use to still fight over little things, majorly for money. So I decided to start working myself. While working I came across an old male friend of mine. I started getting attracted towards him. We have similar minds. We also want to get married. I cannot justify whether this is right on my behalf or not. But now I don’t want to continue my relationship with my husband. I explained this to my husband.

After I explained this and asked for separation, my husband has turned very sober. He wants to compromise with me. I tried my best but I still don’t want to be his wife. What do I do under this situation?

I want to have a peaceful life for once. I know I have been doing wrong all through my life. I know this is also another mistake of its kind. But what do I do about what I feel for another man. Can I stay with my husband with someone else in my heart? I don’t want to commit mistake after mistake.... please advice.


Respected Sister in Islam

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakatuhu

We are perturbed by your predicament. Firstly, you should make a firm commitment to strenghten your relationship with your Creator. A person will only find contentment in life when he or she becomes obedient to Allah Ta’ala and abstains from sin and futility. Repent to your Creator with sincerity and remorse and place complete conviction in His forgiveness and Mercy. Make repentance and seeking forgiveness a daily practice and turn your focus towards developing your faith (Imaan). We advise you to obtain authentic Islamic books and endeavour to attend good morale building programs to enhance your Islamic knowledge and to uplift yourself spiritually and emotionally.

Regarding your marriage, it is incumbent that you safeguard yourself from any illicit relationship and sinful communication. Disobedience to Allah brings misery and gloom into a person's life. Exhaust all the avenues available to make your marriage work, and thereafter if you feel that your differences are irreconcilable, you may express this to your husband. Consult Ulama in your locality to assist both of you to resolve the matter.
May Allah Ta'ala guide and assist you. Aameen.

And Allah Ta'ala knows best.

Was salaam

Darul Ihsan Social Department


Virtue of Making Salaam First: Hadhrat Abdullah ibn Mas’ood (Radhiallahu Anhu) relates that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has said: “The one who makes salaam first is free from pride.” (Baihaqi – Shu’abul Imaan 6/433)